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Abhirama
Das
I have only recently become
aware of the incredible theories about the so called poisoning of Srila
Prabhupada, being circulated by some poorly informed devotees.
As you may know I acted as Srila Pabhupada's nurse and assistant secretary
from 25th July through 16th October of 1977, and was therefore in the
best position to evaluate the factors influencing his health during this
time. I kept a diary which often documented his physical condition, food
intakes, and discomforts. I also was the primary player when he was taken
to hospital in Watford England during his last stay at the Manor. I convinced
his divine grace to go to hospital, accompanied him there, negotiated
with the surgeon not to give general anesthetics and intravenous feeding
(as was the policy), provided most of the post operative care to Srila
Prabhupada etc. I give this background to emphasize not only my intimate
role in his physical care, but also to let you know that this same surgeon,
Dr. McIrving, made a very clear and definitive diagnosis of Srila Prabhupada's
condition, namely that he,
1) had, due to diabetes (and dropsy) suffered swelling which affected
the flow in his urinary tract over many years
2) That he had since birth a slightly constricted urethra which further
reduced the urinary flow. (This was the reason for surgery and gave a
great deal of relief to Srila Prabhupada)
3) The combination of these two major factors had put a constant and harmful
back pressure on his kidneys, which along with a general deterioration
due to age had inflicted serious renal damage. (Srila Prabhupada complained
to me that he had difficulty urinating and finally was blocked completely
leading to this surgery. )
4) The kidney failure would naturally cause an increase in uric acid in
his system, which would probably affect digestion and appetite. Both being
prominent symptoms in Srila Pabhupada's condition.
5) The loss of digestion and appetite led to malnutrition which caused
an already aged and intensely taxed system to go into a total collapse.
The above is, I believe, an
accurate account of the diagnosis of the doctors who examined Srila Prabhupada
at Peace Memorial Hospital on 8th September of 1977, and all of my/our
observations prior and subsequent to this generally confirmed this diagnosis.
When Srila Prabhupada first
arrived at the hospital, they had refused to treat his urethra constriction
unless he was totally hooked up to intravenous feeding and any other life
support systems they may need to employ. Srila Prabhupada had warned me
many times that he did not want to die in a hospital and I had convinced
him to visit on a promise that he would receive only minor surgery to
open the urethra ("some minor plumbing work" as I described
it to him). I had to use considerably persuasive arguments to convince
the surgeon to risk an operation on someone he said was nearly dead, without
all the
support systems required by hospital policy.
In making my (magnum opus)
arguments to the doctor, I pleaded that Srila Prabhupada wanted only enough
relief to be able to travel back to his home (Vrindavan) to die as he
wished. I challenged the doctors that "if he submits to all of your
treatments, how much time can you extend his life?" They answered
that he was so far deteriorated at that point they could hardly understand
how he was living at all; and they could not even propose adding three
more months to his life with all of their medical interventions employed.
From this point forward I/we
knew that the exoteric indications were completely negative. Of course
we never stopped hoping against hope that the esoteric reality would alter
the future that we all so greatly dreaded.
In time we brought him to Bombay
and back to Vrindavan, for what had to become the greatest tragedy of
our life and simultaneously another glorious event in his illustrious
life; namely his departure. As his nurse I had been instructed by him
to "never leave my side day or night" and had spent most days
in 24 hour contact with him. I slept holding his hand, I bathed, dressed,
fed and carried him. In short, I am a credible witness.
I left his direct physical service under circumstances which may shed
additional light on the issue. I have always been very goal driven and
able to focus intently on the desired objective, often to an extreme.
As his nurse I saw only one acceptable result, and that was improvement
of his health and continuation of his life. No other possibility was tenable
in my mind. One day in mid October, I noticed some coolies delivering
salt bags and a stretcher, to the back porch of Srila Prabhupada's house.
As preparations for a funeral at this stage would have been an unthinkably
offensive act, I guessed that only Srila
Prabhupada himself could have dared to request it. My inquiries confirmed
my suspicions, and it was then that I finally came to terms with the fact
the he (Srila Prabhupada) had made an irrevocable decision to leave this
world soon. Again, as I had
become a near fanatic to maintain his physical condition, I felt an overwhelming
sense of defeat, hopelessness and could not adjust to this new paradigm
(due to spiritual immaturity). I therefore asked Srila Prabhupada, if
I could be relieved of my duties, in favor of Satadanya and Bhavananda
who were by now fully attending to him with equal or greater skill.
My assessment related to the
accusations of Srila Prabhupada being poisoned are:
1) Srila Prabhupada's exoteric conditions were carefully observed by a
variety of care givers and medical professionals.
2) All diagnosis generally confirmed that his body was in an overall crisis,
precipitated by his diabetes, dropsy, kidney damage, and overstressed
due to age, travel, etc.
3) His prognosis was not optimistic and death seemed imminent, at least
from September 1977.
4) There was no indications of any other cause of his ill health (i.e.
poisoning) noticed by me or any medical professional up to 16 October
1977 and Srila Prabhupada did not say anything to indicate that he suspected
such a thing during my time with him.
5) His eventual physical departure within one month of my departure as
his nurse, was a logical and expected conclusion to the above mentioned
indications. I was not at all surprised, although I will remain broken
hearted over his departure throughout my life.
I have written these details
for the first time to benefit those who wish to know them. I have no ulterior
motive and pray that my effort will be pleasing to the Vaisnavas and help
to maintain a truthful historical perspective on Srila Prabhupada's departure.
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