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Tamal
Krishna Goswami
Dear Readers,
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
For quite some time rumors have been circulating that Srila Prabhupada
was poisoned, murdered by his own disciples. I as his secretary have been
the chief accused. Many of you might have wondered why I have not denied
this charge if there is no truth to it. The reason is quite simple: I
felt the most appropriate and beneficial way to do so was to publish my
diary, "TKG's Diary," both in book form and electronically in
the Supplementary VedaBase. This allows everyone the chance to judge for
themselves what went on during Prabhupada's final pastimes. I also did
not want to be drawn into endless debate with persons who are not actually
interested in hearing facts that contradict their spurious theories. Still,
friends have urged me to at least make one statement, and having read
HH Bhakti Caru Swami's, I now am doing the same. It is not meant to be
a comprehensive response to each and every allegation but a simple statement
of fact. I did not poison Prabhupada. In fact, nobody poisoned Prabhupada.
There were many dozens of devotees surrounding Srila Prabhupada in his
final pastimes. Their only concern was to see Srila Prabhupada continue
to live with us. Especially those serving him personally were attentive
to detail and every word His
Divine Grace spoke. Do you think that we could be so callous as to have
heard Prabhupada say "I have been poisoned," and not be concerned?
Of course we were concerned. We discussed the matter with Prabhupada and
among ourselves, as anyone
can read in "TKG's Diary." We did not go searching for a murderer
because we concluded there was no murder.
Some have suggested that even if no one intentionally poisoned Prabhupada,
the medicine he was given acted as "poison." I can well imagine
some will hold me responsible as Prabhupada's secretary for giving him
this medicine.
But I was not engaged, nor were any of his servants, because of our expertise
in medical knowledge. All of us together did not even know one percent
of what Prabhupada knew of Ayurvedic medicine. It was His Divine Grace
who had a dream about a Kaviraja preparing a particular medicine, and
it was His Divine Grace who reviewed each and every type of medicine that
he was administered.
Still, no medicine "killed" Srila Prabhupada. His Divine Grace
said that Krishna had given him the decision whether to stay or not. It
is most unfair to say that any one of us who were serving him was praying
for his untimely departure (what to speak of orchestrating it). Again
and again we begged Prabhupada to stay with us, even offered our life
in exchange for his, as any good disciple would do. Prabhupada repeatedly
said that he was living simply due to our love and affection. He said
that his Guru Maharaja passed away dissatisfied, but that he was completely
satisfied. No one, he said, could ever hope to have such loving sons and
daughters as he had. He left us because he chose to leave. He left because
Krishna called him back. That is the plain truth and anything else is
a concoction.
Prabhupada's servants dedicated the better part of their lives to serving
Srila Prabhupada. We served him during his manifest pastimes right up
until the end. It was not easy to serve His Divine Grace during the last
year of his failing health. It was not
easy to see his body wither, his resolve to continue on, wane. By his
mercy alone we stayed by him throughout this difficult time and performed
every possible service, collecting his urine, removing his stool, bathing
him, changing his clothes and bedding, but most of all encouraging him
to continue on. It has come as a most cruel blow to be suspected of having
been moved by any other motive than love in serving our dear most spiritual
master.
The facts will speak for themselves. In the coming days and months all
the allegations of poisoning will be shown to be allegations and nothing
more. Then I hope that those who have falsely accused others and me will
have the decency to admit that they were wrong and beg forgiveness, not
from us, but from Srila Prabhupada, whose sublime final pastimes they
have attempted to tarnish.
Begging to always be a servant
of the Vaisnavas,
Tamal Krishna Goswami
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